Sadistic Love
by IrisElric-HalfMetalAlchemist
Summary: The things we do for a friend on Valentine's Day. So what happens when a sadistic teen has to deal with "The Accursed Day"? And do something to keep everyone in Providence happy? Especially...the most feared concentration of happiness that is Rex?


The dreaded day. Oh, the dreaded, horrifying day.

I checked the damned calendar hanging on my plain white wall, and it had confirmed my deepest fears:

It was Valentine's Day.

That alone was enough to send me into another caffeine craving. Hmm… a latté? Worth a shot. I did have to run a few errands and mail a few letters to people I wanted to waste my time on, namely the relatives on my mother's side.

They're all just saying that they want all of them to be purely sincere, and not sent with the push of a button. And don't even get me started about the fact that they think that I should ditch White and attempt a one-victim massacre while I was at it.

"Why I managed to put gray hearts on my calendar, I'll never recall." I shrugged, putting on my designer black vest (which tapered mid-shin) over my white dress shirt. Remembering that I'd need clearance before getting out of base, I dialed White Knight's number on my phone.

"This is Black Smith requesting clearance to get the damn hell out of Providence for just six hours. And don't start about any lectures." I said, as soon as someone picked up the phone.

A long pause. "…Fine," I heard White say. I hung up, stuffed the phone in my shorts pocket, and patted my other pocket, checking for my wallet. Yeah, I was good for the rest of the day. Why was White so passive you ask? Drum roll please:

He was my dad.

Go figure.

Of course I didn't look a thing like him, and I took after my mother. I had her dark black hair and onyx eyes, but the one thing I didn't take from my mother was my overly sadistic personality.

And if you're asking, Black Smith isn't even my real name. White just wanted a codename that would hide our blood relations away from other people. Can't tell you people my real name; it'd spoil the surprise.

I stared at the scene before me: Six was spacing out, staring at the Petting Zoo, Doctor Holiday was typing some data on a computer (I pity the poor workaholic, but then again, why would a sadist pity someone?), Bobo was at Rex's side, and the poor idiot—namely Rex—was as happy as a clam.

Typical.

"Guys…?" I started, seeing as no one had noticed me come in. "I'll be out for the day. If anyone needs me, I'll probably hide away in the comfort of the city. And if you guys need anything, speak now or forever _shut it_."

And as usual, Bobo just gave something that just had something to do with girls and bikinis, Six ignored the offer in its entirety (I'd have to give him something… the love-and-happiness meter thing would _not _work on him), Holiday just asked for a box of chocolates, and Rex wrapped an arm around me and hurriedly pulled me to the side.

"I need you to get a Valentine's day card, a box of complimentary chocolates, roses, and… maybe… a reservation for dinner at-" I stuffed my hand in his face to get him to stop.

I shut my eyes until his mouth would stop opening. "…I'm not _that _loaded, idiot." I could practically feel his grin fall at the corners of his mouth. Which made me smirk.

"But you didn't listen to my last one!" he whined, like a little kid who had all the candy in the world and still wanted more. He was, but candy wasn't the thing that was being argued over here.

"Fine. What _is_ it?" I asked, irritation practically dripping from the end of my tongue.

"Get a date today."

I snickered. "You can't have what you want unless you drop that last one."

"But-!"

"No but's. Besides, I'd probably last one out for two hours." I said, walking past Rex. I could almost hear him mutter, 'You're heartless.'

"Yeah, Rex, it's a given fact that I'm heartless. And I love it, by the way. Seeya."

The latté was invigorating, to say the least. But the love and happiness radiating from all sides was too much for me. The birds were singing, the kids were laughing, lovers were exchanging kisses, chcolates, and roses, and some were doing all three, surprisingly.

I wanted to die already.

I downed the fifth latté this morning, and went off to daydream-land, where my husband is an effing huge chainsaw and I hunt down Providence with my kids, who are human-weapon hybrids. Of course, Bobo, Dr. Holiday and Six were excluded. White and Rex were on the top of my hit list. I have no idea why Rex is in there, but I have a funny way of showing my affection. Don't get me wrong; I like Bobo, Holiday, and Six, but for some reason my torturing of people is tantamount to saying 'I love you,' or such.

And sometimes kicking EVO ass is tantamount to saying, 'I'm gonna kill you whether you like it or not'. Of course I don't kill anyone, emphasis on don' had the chance to actually _kill_ someone. Would be fun, though.

Well, my aunt Monica (on my mother's side) was going to have a wedding some few weeks from now…namely one, and she said she mailed me a letter that I would have to pick up. Mail just doesn't magically arrive in front of Providence's doorstep, you know. That, and maybe I could start running the errands.

"Let's see…sending the letters for the family, the letter from aunt Monica, five Valentine's Day cards, Bobo's…" I paused, looking for the right word, "…request, two boxes of chocolates, one being complementary, and a selection of roses. That should be it."

"Oh heavenly God, why me. Why," I whimpered, my face concealed by the sheet of paper that was proof of my being a bridesmaid at the wedding. I, a confirmed, caffeine-loving sadist, who took pleasure in bashing EVO's heads in, was going to be a bridesmaid-the maid of honor, even-to her deceased mom's twin sister's wedding. Oh how I wanted to annihilate the entire town right now.

"Anything wrong?" the woman behind the counter asked.

"The letter I received was requesting something that isn't my kind of thing." I said, turning my gaze to said woman.

"Oh, I get lots of teenagers in situations like these all the time. You sure I can't help you with anything?"

"Nah, I'll probably torch the letter, flush it down the **(1)**Great White One and say I never even got it." I said, striding out the door. That last one earned me a full room of glares. I loved it.

Okay. Since I already got what Bobo wanted, the cards are all in (writing included), I just got the chocolates, and now the roses. Crap, I didn't know what color Holiday wants. Or what Rex wants, for that matter.

"Well, here goes Rex's last fragments of trust," I mumbled to myself.

I walked into the old flower shop, ringing the bell that would alert the people inside that customers were in. Well, in my case, _a_ customer.

"Hello? Anyone in here?" I asked, turning up the level of my voice. "Anyone?" Weird. Usually floral shops would be packed with love-crazy admirers and stuff like that at this time of year.

"Ah. Good morning." piped up an old lady from behind me. Hell, if I weren't the queen of the world of hurt, then I would have _literally_ jumped ten feet into the air.

"Oh. Hey, um…I may run the risk of forever being branded an idiot in your point of view, but is this a flower shop?" I asked, hoping this woman wouldn't laugh at me. If she did, then today would be a hundred times better.

"Well, yes, but more people want the other flower shops that come with more presentation." she smiled sadly.

"Well, the person who asked me to do this didn't want any flashy presentation, just some quality flowers."

"I have plenty of them. What color does your friend want?" the old lady walked over to a rack of barrels which held a truckload of roses, all in different colors.

"I don't know. He kept it a secret from the person he'd give the flowers to, and he didn't specify anything. I couldn't tell the woman he was giving it to, otherwise it'd spoil the whole thing." I said, my eyes focusing on a particular rose. Black-just like my name. I picked one out of the barrel it was in and inhaled its scent.

"Oh, yes-the black rose. Other than death and sorrow, it also means courage and resistance." grandma asked. Geez, I'd have to ask for her name right about now.

"Sweet. Another reason to love these flowers. Oh, yeah, grandma? What do I call you?" she turned to me. O-kay, this was getting a bit awkward. "I mean, I'm biologically not your grandkid or anything, so…" I trailed off. When I was asking for her name, I really asked for a name.

…I wasn't expecting her to give me a hug.

"Uh…" I stared down at the old woman who had her arms around me, surprised by the sudden contact. I forgot the last time someone had the guts to hug me, especially after I turned sadist. And somehow, I found myself awkwardly wrapping my arms around this old lady.

"You can keep calling me grandma." the woman said in a soft voice.

"Thank you," I mouthed. I was glad that someone had finally gave me a hug after five years of solitude. I cleared my throat. "So, what's the best way to approach this situation, grandma?"

"Well," she broke away from the hug. "Can you describe for me the condition of their relationship?" she said, now going back to the barrels of multicolored roses.

"Well, the person…he's a guy, and he's doing this for an older girl, A.K.A. the person he wants the roses for." I mentally slapped myself. Who could be crazier than a guy to get someone to secretly buy flowers for that someone on Valentine's Day?

"Anyway," I continued, "From my point of view, I think it's just a crush, but he's pretty persistent and they sort of share a mother-son kind of relationship."

"I see. What about you?" grandma asked. "Do you like this particular boy?"

"Well, he's good for a punching bag, and I could never last a boy for about three hours, so no dice." I could just _feel _the warmth on my face.

"Oh well. Red roses for love and respect," she said, pulling some five roses out of one of the barrels.

"Pink roses for appreciation, grace, and admiration," she did the same with said respective-colored roses.

"Blue roses, for the unattainable," she skipped the barrel of black roses I came across.

"Yellow roses, for joy and gladness, " grandma's kind smile grew wider as she picked up the bright-hued flowers. I just imagined how good they'd look when they were drowning in toxic wastes. The flowers, and not grandma.

"Peach roses, for appreciation, sincerity, and gratitude," she picked up the roses that looked like fruits. Oh great, now I was hungry!

"And finally, orange roses, for desire and enthusiasm, to seal the deal." she picked out the prominent color that I'd usually see on Rex. I'm pretty sure this would give it all away. Oh well; this is something to kill time with, and I enjoyed killing anything that didn't have a will of its own.

"Wow. All that from my puny observations?" I was surprised. I would so have to learn more about being a florist. Now the only problem was how I could hide it from Providence.

Snapping myself out of my fantasies, I handed her a wad of cash. In only fleeting moments had I learned a lot of personal stuff, like how lonely I was, and how much trust I could possibly win back from Rex. And what I was _really_ doing. Well, they were my acquaintances…no, friends. They had saved my ass a number of times, and I saved their asses a number of times, too. This would only erase my current record of all my sadistic insults.

The things I do for trust.

And at that second, a light went on in my head. On pure impulse, I asked for a single white rose and a single orange rose. Grandma took especially beautiful ones from respective barrels. I thanked her and left. I had to get home before the flowers would die and the chocolates melted.

"Boy, I'm making such great time with this." I muttered, as I reached town limits.

"I'm back, and I got your stuff." I said, clutching all the things I'd just got from town. I shoved Bobo's "request" in his face (I put in the Valentine's Day card somewhere in between the pages), tapped Six with his card at the back of his head and he automatically reached out after the first three taps, gave me a confused (?) look and took the card. Holiday accepted the chocolates with a 'thank you' and I nodded in reply, smirking at the fact I tucked the card in. Said card would be the first thing she'd see.

And now for the worst part: Rex.

He was leaning on a desk, looking over at me. Wow. I didn't know I was _this _popular on holidays. I sighed, dejected but my long-time grudge renewed, and carefully handed him the flowers. And my card…

This card, this special card, was the last one I wrote. And all of my feelings (the ones that did not have an intention of grinding this person into salsa) were summed up in this card. Needless to say, I was setting myself up. Ah well, I'm a sadist: I love me some hurt. Even if it was my own hurt.

In one swift motion, I handed over the orange rose and the card which was practically tied to it, underneath the blank card, the chocolates and the bouquet he wanted to hand over to doctor Holiday. _Here's to hoping he won't notice the rose before he hands over the bouquets_, I thought. I didn't have time to hang around and hope for the best. I had more important things to do:

White.

Cue holding down inner demon procedure.

"White?"

I stared at the screen before me as it was flickering to life. The image of my so-called father dominated the TV.

"What is it this time, Smith? No smart-ass remarks for me today?" he said in a flat-out neutral tone.

"N-nothing…dad." I replied. Good Lord, the word 'dad' was hard enough to get out. I had to get my hands on a porcelain doll, fast before I lash out and kill my own dad!

"A-alright, what did you just say just now?"

"Dad." I repeated, painstakingly. "Happy Valentine's Day." I took out the white rose from the inside of my coat.

"Th-thank you, Black."

Oh God. Telling my dad I loved him was merciless. Must… replenish… self… with… coffee…

Out of the corner of my eye, Mr. Happy comes around the corner. Only…his trademark smile's gone. Still…need…my…coffee…NOW!

"Uh…Black?" he said, nervously (I never knew that was completely and/or totally possible) scratching the back of his head. He looked so cute I wanted to murder him. No, seriously, he had the love-and-happiness meter all high. Coffee never felt so wonderful right now.

"What?" I snapped, needing coffee in my system _fast_. "I got you the roses, the card and the chocolates, and I need coffee to ensure my survival!"

Rex didn't look the least bit miffed at my outburst, and continued without fail. But he _did_ flinch. Man, I'm like the Grinch who couldn't afford to crash Christmas.

"Did you mean everything you wrote? In the card?"

"Yes," I sighed.

"I thought it was going to be a death threat or something." he chuckled weakly. True, I wish I could have replaced what I wrote in the card with one I came up in my sleep while mowing him down with my husband chainsaw, whom I named **(2)**Vic, but this wasn't Halloween in the slightest. I could sum up all of Vic's reactions to him in a book…

"Yeah, I almost mutilated myself trying not to slip one or more insults and/or curse words in there." Rex stared at me, not anymore disbelieving since I had already been here for six months.

And could materialize knives out of thin air if necessary.

"So…uh…" Wow. Never thought he'd be _this _slow. Oh well, had to do something. The love-and-happiness-meter already got to me. I went on ahead, and he followed each of my movements with his eyes.

At the last minute, I turned sharply on my heel.

"Happy Valentine's Day, dear." I said, wrapping my arms around his shoulders since he couldn't. He did the same to my waist. The both of us savored this moment, until I heard him say something I never guessed I would have ever heard from him at all.

"I love you, Black."

Oh shit. Must have coffee _now_.

So I gave him a left hook to the gut.

As soon as he slumped over at the waist, I gave him a kiss. A real one. My first one.

Alright. After this, it's an all-coffee diet for the next two months:

"I love you too, Rex."

And even though I was the worst—or best, (you get the idea)-sadist in America, or probably the Northern Hemisphere, I wasn't the least bit ashamed or guilty about this. At all.

**(1.) That's what i call the toilet if I don't want to say the word in public.**

**(2.) Named after Vic Mignogna. Actually, _in honor of_ Vic. **

**I couldn't wait for the actual Valentine's day, and I was on a little break from my fanfics, but I still wanted you guys to know that writer's block has currently got to me. DON'T BLAME ME, BLAME SCHOOLWORK!  
**


End file.
